Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Nanny Chronicles, Take Two

So I told you all last week about that long, wonderful post of awesomeness that I created, only to be lost to the void of cyberspace.  Remember?  It had pictures, and hyperlinks, even.  It was basically the best post ever.  This would be me, trying to re-create it.  This post is kind of long, but if you have any tiny humans that you interact with on a day-to day basis, I think it'll be worth the read.

Gavin and I had a pretty good week last week. I've been his nanny for six weeks now, and we've got a pretty good rhythm going.  Does rhythm really not have an "e" in it???  Now it doesn't even look like a word...

Sorry, got distracted.  Does that happen to other people?  Sometimes I spell a word right the first time, but it looks so WRONG that I look it up, and then I've stared at it so long that no matter how I spell it, it doesn't even look like a word anymore.  Is that just me and my weirdness, or does it happen to other people too?

Anyways, we had a few bumpy days at first.  We've had to work some on transitioning between activities, keeping on task, listening, and using an inside voice.  Of course, Gavin doesn't really realize we're working on these things.  For him, these things translate to a magnet schedule, a sticker calendar, and a prize box.

The magnet schedule is the most self explanatory, and I cannot take credit for the idea.  I found it here, via Pinterest of course!  However, I can tell you that Gavin and I have tested her idea, and it totally works!  This is what Gavin's schedule looks like:






His schedule goes in chronological order of things that we do every day.  In the morning, we get dressed, brush his teeth, make the bed, and read at least one book.  Then we usually take a little break and do something fun--play outside with bubbles, go to the museum or library, maybe watch a movie.  Then, typically after lunch, we do "homework," (which I'll explain), take Wilson (the dog) outside, eat dinner, and take a bath.  Then, if I'm there, bedtime is exactly at nine pm.  No whining, no tantrums, no exceptions.

Sometimes our overall schedule varies a little.  For example. Tuesdays are our "Library Day."  There's a pre-school story hour at 10 AM on Tuesdays, and there's no way we're going to get dressed, brush teeth, make the bed, read a book, and get in the car and get to the library by ten.  So usually, we leave the bed and the book until after we come home.  And then there are some days that Gavin's mom comes home before dinner, so I'm not there for that.  But on the days that I'm there, we stick to the schedule.

Gavin gets SUPER FREAKING EXCITED about closing those little flaps.  They all say "Done!" on the outside, and whenever he finishes a task, he says "I have to go to my calendar!!!" And then he runs through the house to his schedule and closes his flap, and then tells me what's next.  Instead of having to nag him a thousand times to make the bed, he runs and does it all on his own so he can close the flap.  The same goes for all the other tasks.

The best part?  This was ridiculously easy to make.  All it took was some construction paper, glue, a few pieces of clip art, a sharpie, and some magnates.  The magnets were the hardest part to find.  Once I had all the materials, I put the calendar together in an afternoon, and it cost less than ten dollars to make.  Believe me when I tell you it was worth the ten dollars.

This next idea I came up with all by my lonesome.  Gavin and I were having some problems with his general behavior.  I'm talking about temper tantrums, not listening when told to do (or not to do) things, and just generally being naughty.  Intellectually, I know he was just testing his boundaries with me, because I was the new nanny, and he wanted to see how far he could push his luck with me.  But for me, the answer needed to be not at all.

Let me take a moment here to say I firmly believe in authoritative parenting (or nannying, as the case may be).  This means high expectations, but high levels of warmth, love and nurturing.  Kids should have rules and expectations that they know and understand.  They should be taught to be respectful and polite. When they behave badly, there should be consequences.  When they behave well, they should be rewarded.  But they should also always know that the adults in their lives love them, no matter what, and that they can trust them to take care of them.

So I do NOT believe that you should be your child's best friend or buddy, nor do I believe that you should be a cold and distant disciplinarian; there has to be a balance.  It's a difficult way to parent, but I believe it builds the most well-adjusted children, and that it also builds the best relationship with your child.

It's A LOT harder when it's someone else's child.  Which is why I came up with the sticker calendar and prize box.






This is the sticker calendar.  It doesn't actually have any stickers on it in this picture, but it's just a basic desk calendar that I bought at Target.  It's hard to see, but it is color coded.  The weeks that Gavin is with his mom are colored green, and weeks he's with his dad are colored blue (his two favorite colors). Then, any day that he's going to see me is circled in purple (one of my favorite colors).  So basically, Gavin always knows what's coming.

The stickers I bought are pretty awesome--they're little emoticon stickers.  I found them at a dollar store, I think.  If Gavin has a Good Day, he gets a Good Day sticker--likewise with Bad Days.  The last thing we do before I leave for the day is pick the appropriate sticker.


The rules for picking which sticker to use are pretty simple: if Gavin's had a time out, it's a bad day sticker.  There are several things that lead to a time out--a temper tantrum is an automatic time out.  If I have to count to three when he's being naughty, it's a time out.  And if I have to ask him to do something (i.e. put his dishes in the sink) three times, it's a time out.  That one I remind him after asking him the second time, because he hasn't quite grasped it yet.  So far, he's only had two bad days--once following a time out when he kicked me when I took a toy away, and once when he threw a major hissy fit about not wanting to get out of the bathtub. 

Once Gavin has five good days in a row, he gets to pick a prize from the prize box, because I am not at all above small amounts of bribing.







I will admit that this craft was a tiny bit expensive.  The box was six or seven dollars, the "G" another three; the paints were two dollars each and the little wooden pictures were a dollar each.  Plus there are ten dollars worth of dollar store prizes inside the box. All in all, it was around $25 to make the box and fill it with prizes.  BUT, as the box was a one time deal, and it's going to take us a while to run through the prizes, it's pretty worth it.  Plus, we had a good time collecting the materials.

Gavin came with me to Hobby Lobby to get the box, the "G," and the paints.  Originally, it was just going to be a plain painted box, but I couldn't resist when I saw the little wooden pictures--they were only a dollar, and much more adorable than anything I could freehand.  Then, when I gave Gavin ten dollars and told him to go wild in the toy section of the Dollar Tree, you would think Christmas had come early.  It was a lot of fun.

So there you have it!  Two of the secrets to my nannying success.  Maybe I should make myself a sticker calendar to reward myself for doing housework... Hmm...

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